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A CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS

Hey folks.

I've had a few people who have expressed interest in contributing to
topherhoeferlife. So, write something and send it to me. I'd be happy
to put it up on the site. Keep it brief, simple and interesting. A
short story? An observation? Pictures? Shoot, I'll stick a riddle up
here if it's clever.

Submissions to: topherhoefer@gmail.com

IWASLIKEOHMYGAWD!FORSERIOUS?

Ladies, take a breather. I know there is a proliclivity towards heated
discourse in the 19-23 educated female set, but
'ohmygodshedoesntevenbrushherteeth'does not count as a conversation.
You are simply saying a bunch of words and moving your hands and
engaging another 19-23 year old girl.

Just so you know. When the real world ignores you or
'justdoesntrespectorget' you, this is why.

Breathe. Talk to someone different than you once in a while. You'll
learn a ton.

70$ TOOTHBRUSH

These sonic toothbrushes? What do they do, shoot waves into your teeth
or whatever? I've talked with people who use them and they swear by
them. I've realized I could use a little help in the oral health
department, so I've purchased myself a new toothbrush. I'm obsessed.
It's so sleek and sexy. It charges on a base and has one little button
with two speeds. I've used it twice and it's already changed my life
forever.

Oh, day 11.

Day 10.

Slipping up a bit. A few smokes and some smoke. Booze has been easy
and The pounds are falling off. A bit embarrasing to think of the
booze weight I was carrying around. I saw it in the jaw and I'm
loosing it there first. Nice. Wouldn't mind looking good for San Fran.
The best revenge and whatnot...

Plaid is so hot right now.

Mika!

DAY 5

Day five is itchy.

My skin is all fucked up. Dry and off-balance, I guess, is the best
way to describe it. Lips are chapped and my eyes have been blood-shot
and puffy for a week. Were they always like this and I just never
noticed?

I feel my mouth healing.

I have a drive to get shit done. That's fun. It's new and I'm probably
not managing it as well as I could, but it'll be interesting to see
where it takes me.

The Blu Dot Real Good Experiment

http://realgood.bludot.com/

Bloomington Central Station

I ride the train to Bloomington these days. 1 hour and ten minutes
after I leave my house, I end up here... Bloomington Central Station.
The developer had plans to build a urban hub centered by a park. Three
of the proposed ten buildings were completed before the crash, and
result is an urban greenscape in the middle of a field. A touch of
Barcelona dropped into the middle of Blaine. (if Barcelona were
properly funded and Blaine weren't ubiquitous.)

Ain't it a shame...

That at the top, still those soft skin boys can bruise you?

-Rufus wainwright.

Day FOUR

The littlest things will set you off. The train this morning? Full.
The wierd wet spot on my Andy bag? Not going away. Life's unfortunate
inconveniences set the voice into action, 'See!? Life is bullshit! We
need a cigarette!'

This follows a night of crazy dreams. Dreams of building exercise
pools for big black men in wheelchairs. Scenes of underwater
interviews of the men who have been sent to assist. Moments of
pleasant surprise at the realization that those new underwater
microphones were going to work well.

If you're ever on the train while people are standing and you're
taking a whole seat to yourself, putting your feet up on the seat in
front of you, fuck off. Seriously. You're a fucking prick. Little old
ladies are standing, you fucking bag of dicks. I'm about to come over
and wipe that smug look off your motherfucking face. Oh, and...Nice
shoes, asshole. Did your boyfriend find those in the dollar bin at
Savers?

Alter Ego

Everybody needs an alter ego. A foot soldier you can deploy in life’s situations when you’d rather not. Mine is named Ryan. He’s 34, German and norweigan in decent, and he just doesn’t give a fuck.

Ryan was in the Army. civilian negotiations for the Infantry. Baically, he bought gear for men in the field from the norms who were lucky enough to score a military contract. He was good at his job, which was the appropriate assumption from all who met him. Folks at cocktail parties get the impression that this is a guy who is good at stuff.

Ryan got sloppy, though, and got himself kicked out of the military. Army doesn’t take to kindly to R&R being spent in the bathhouses of Rome, so now ryan has had to step it up a notch.

Nobody knows where the money comes from these days, Sure, an appearance at a good party can go upwards of $100,000.00 but kid lives well. His home address is listed as that of his partne’s but he hasn’t seen mom and dad in eight months. When he’s not working (which, seemingly, is never) he stays with friends all over the world. Just a regular joe, embraced by an international community of men of means. Some would call him a prostitute. His mom tells friends he’s an actor. He settled on ‘playboy’ once when pushed for an answer, and hasn’t put much though to it since. A modern day playboy, I guess. Once uncle Karl moved on, a line formed and he’s been gone ever since.

Journal of a Fast

I’m taking on something. A bit of an experiment. I’m going to cut out the things I consume that are bad for me. I am going to quit smoking marijuana. I am going to stop smoking cigarettes. I am going to quit drinking alcohol. I am going to quit consuming caffeine. I am also going to stop watching tv. I am going to fast or one month.
Bad habits die hard, and I’m a bit nervous. As a tool of preoccupation, I am going to journal my experience.
I’m expecting a few things. Obviously, foremost in my mind is the physical. I am an everyday drinker, and I smoke about a pack of cigarettes a day. The withdrawl from those two will mean a hard first five- seven days, and then I imagine the actual physical cravings will subside into something that will allow me to work on forming long-term habits.
Benefits
A newly-established primary framework, as a result of clean body and mind. This will include an appreciation for health and self-respect. Im operating under the assumption that this framework will be inevidibly superior.
I will no longer reek.
$
Innumerable health considerations.
Social considerations including self-esteem and an avoidance of Faux-Pas.
Frameworks for Success
Aside from one pre-scheduled social obligation, I will not set foot in any bar for 30 days.
I’m not making any decisions as to what habits I’ll resume after these thirty days. All focus will be on the here and now. I will look forward to December first and making those decisions based on a newly established framework.
Physical fitness and a focus are reasons to adopt a work-out routine. I will visit the gym four times a week.
A motivation tool has been established. I will be traveling to San Francisco on December 4th. It will feel really good to kill that trip. Toe-tags and Body bags.
I am informing all friends and family of my fast.

Musings on Ryan

>

> Ryan doesn't smoke.
> Ryan drinks beer.
> Ryan doesn't smoke pot. He used to.
> Ryan doesn't have sex without a condom.
> Ryan works out.
> Ryan has great skin. He hasn't always.
> Ryan is tall.
>

Day three

Day three is interesting. The sleep is what gets me. I woke up at
4:30, fearing I had overslept. I went to bd at 10:30 last night and
slept for about nine hours. For a while there, I was sleeping 5-6
hours, waking up still drunk, and doing it all over again, so this is
new for me. I look puffy.

I'm happy to have the house to myself this week. I. Makes it all the
more surreal. Also glad I'm working every day. I'm easing into this. I
drank soda yesterday and I've been watching some tv, but no smokes or
booze. I knew that would the hardest. The other stuff is just to set
up a clean living situation, hoping it'll make cutting out the hard
stuff easier.

Been more productive on the train already this morning than a few
entire days this summer.